Prt. 2: S'cuuuuuurrrrd to Death.....

Another week, another muse upon.....death? 

Yeah, okay, I know, this might seem more than a bit macabre to some of you. Trust me, I'm well aware of that. In fact, there is very much a small voice in the back of my mind asking: "Dude, are you REALLY writing a series on this? Seriously? Maybe it's time to up your meds.....?" 

And who knows, maybe there is some truth to that? Still, I think the fact that I have those questions and you have those questions is perhaps reason to go ahead and write this. 

Again, like I said last week, as a society, we have some serious issues with death. (And not just the fact that it's been inescapable for the last...well....forever?) In the realm of Christianity, we seem to especially have some issues with death. Lay, clergy, bishop or pew-person, we all have something of a nagging unease about death. 

So what is it which scares the bejeebus out of us? Which makes us squirming-ly uncomfortable? 

Honestly, I don't think it's the thought of rotting or mouldering corpses. We, as a society, are pretty good with graphic gore and graphic...well...everything, really. It's also not the fact that dear Uncle Joe can no longer speak with us or respond to our affections. Though, certainly, this is a huge part of the grieving process and it's really incredibly freaking difficult at times. In fact, I don't know that there is a pain quite like knowing that you will not hear a loved one's voice ever again. That's gut-wrenching. Entirely destroying, really. 

Still, I don't think that's where we have a problem or why we have a problem with death. 

Instead, I think it all comes down to the fact that death equals out to the greatest uncertainty of all.....and we HATE uncertainty. 

Oh sure, in Christianity we tell ourselves and each other "When you die, you go to heaven or you go to hell and that's how it works." (Though, there's some considerable debate on that last part!) The problem is that we don't quite know if this is actually how it goes as the Bible and Judeo-Christian tradition are more than a bit convoluted on this. 

Heaven, Hell, Sheol, Hades, Gehenna, Tartarus, etc.....unfortunately, when you start digging into them, they all sorta' blend together in times, places, and spaces. And so we're left going "Uhm.....?" 

Mind you, we're not alone in this one. Most religions have something of a problem with what happens in the afterlife. (Seeing as it's rather impossible to book a ticket to the afterlife and still remain alive.....nasty little rub, that!) Our friends in some of the Eastern religions have it easier as, sure, the afterlife remains a mystery, but it's also something you come back from. It's the eternal work-depot where you pop by to get your assignment for your next job on earth; maybe even get a few hundred years off for a job well done. Still, it's a place where you come and go from. Christianity doesn't really roll like that. We like to say that it's a one and done type of deal. (Though, this is up for debate, depending on your interpretation of St. John's Revelation.) The problem, is that we really don't know if that's how it actually is. 

Oh sure, we say that's how it is. We might even have some pretty strong faith that things are as we believe. However, we don't actually know....and that tends to drive us nuts and/or scare the pants off of us. 

"What if I wind up in an eternal slumber? I mean? Will I dream?" 

"What if I don't get my body back in the afterlife? Will anyone recognise me?" 

"What if I .....<insert your own personal fear here>"

Let's be honest, the thoughts cross all of our minds, and so in an effort to keep from facing those fears, we do just about everything we can to keep away from death. 

We have air-bags and all sorts of safety systems to keep us safe. Cutting-edge healthcare to monitor our ageing, prevent problems before they occur, and even sometimes to bring us back to life after we die. Organic diets, crazy workouts, etc, etc, etc, all with the intention (express or not) of delaying us from death. 

Mind you, I'm not saying these are bad things, per-se, just that they're things which can keep us from a healthy and realistic understanding -both practically and theologically- of death. Again, I'm not saying we shouldn't engage all these things. It's great to take care of yourself by going to the gym, by getting regular physicals, and by driving a car which isn't a death-trap! Just don't think that any of these will save you from death. They won't. Sorry. 

By this point, I'm sure you're thoroughly depressed/frustrated/enraged to a level of just wanting to shout: "Okay, Adam, I give, what's the proper theology for death, already?!?!" 

Unfortunately, that's not something I really have an answer to. Generally, in theology, you need to have some experience with an issue before you can start to develop a proper theology upon it. As I'm still living -and hopefully will be for some time....as I've got a really nice house's worth of $$$ invested in this bloody PhD- I can't say I actually know what to say about death. 

What I can say however, is that a fear of death, while understandable, doesn't jive with Christianity. While Christian writings about death might be a bit murky, there's pretty darn clear teachings on fear. 

We are not meant to live in fear. We are meant to live engaged. 

We are not meant to live in worry. We are meant to live in trust. 

Trust in a God who is the source of life. Who is beginning and end and yet without end. Who is both with us in life and with us in death.

If God is even a shred of who we say God is, then there's no reason to think that God might end a relationship shared with humanity just because humanity doesn't walk on the earth. 

Mind you, maybe that relationship changes. (As all relationships do over time...)

Maybe it's a shared dreamscape. Maybe it's a literal encounter. Maybe it's, I don't know.....? 

And again, just like in relationships upon earth, maybe it's a bit of a struggle to adjust. Maybe it's frustrating or maddening, I don't know. But maybe, like other relationships which grow, stretch, and change, it becomes something incredibly better than might ever have been originally thought? 

Just like we can't live our relationships with friends, family, and lovers, in fear of those relationships to evolving or changing -even though we know they will- we can't live a relationship with God in fear of it changing via death. 

So yes, death is inevitable. And yes, it is an uncertainty. But if God is to be who we say God is to be. If God is involved with humanity in the relationship which we in Christianity seem to think God is, then we must live with God in that relationship. Knowing that the relationship will indeed change, but change does not mean "bad" and change does not mean "end." 

Change, just might be the beginning of the greatest part of the relationship......

(Just in case that whole post was too heavy.....and because the Harlem Shake, itself, needs to die......)

Lent will be the Death of Me.....

Well, here we are again. Another year, another season of Lent. Of course, oodles of folk are giving up something for the next 40 days. If that's you, please see my blog from last year. Trust me, Lent is not so much about giving up something for God as it is about giving in to the divine! (i.e.: Is giving up Starbucks, chocolate, coffee, or booze REALLY going to aid your spiritual discipline? Or is it just going to make you a grumpy sod that the rest of us dread dealing with?)

Anyways...

As I consider Lent to be a time of change, reflection, growth and learning, I've decided to bring up a topic which most of Christianity -and the wider Western world- really needs to give some thought to: death.

Yeah, I really did just type that.

Yes, I am totally serious.

Let's be honest, death is a topic which is a hot-mess in the Western world. Death is something we never talk about -at least until we have to! Conversing with and about death is something which is awkwardly avoided like that great-uncle with the bad toupee and the foul breath. We run in the opposite direction of death whenever we can and however we can.

But let's just cut to the core: death scares the s*** out of us. (Sometimes literally, as my friends in the death-care industry tell me.)

It's ironic, really, as death is one of those things which we KNOW for sure and for certain that we are going to experience. You'd think we'd be a bit better versed and/or prepared to handle death when it comes knocking. Sometimes, we are. Occasionally someone has been clear, concise, and upfront about what they'd like to happen to them should they die. They might even have a family which has a great social and emotional support system to aid them through their time of loss. Butttttt....it's probably more likely that Hilary Clinton will spend her final years as a swimsuit model. (Not out of the realm of possibility, but highly unlikely, ya' know?)

I can't speak for the wider-world of Western civilisation, but I can pretty thoroughly say that Christianity has more than a bit of a problematic relationship with death.

Think about it: how many horrible things have you heard said at a funeral? People of faith might mean well and might be exceptionally loving and caring persons -or not- but there's nothing like a funeral/death to bring about a wave of cringe-inducing bad theology. Like, really, really bad theology....

"God just wanted them home with him." -Oh, so God's some kind of needy jerk who needs my loved ones more than me?

"This was God's plan...." - I won't necessarily argue with this one, as I haven't seen God's play-book, but I will say that unless you've seen that book yourself, you should probably -no, definitely- not be saying this.

"They're out of pain  now...." - Yeah, we all know that, but the rest of us are in life-changing pain, so again, why don't you shut it? Mmm'kay?

It's not just the world of laity which gets this type of blame laid at its feet. Ministers, of all shapes and sizes, are also just as tin-eared with death-care. Actually, we're probably the source of laity saying such horrible and inept things. Strike that "probably," I can't deny it, we are the source. <sigh>

Part of this isn't our fault, really. We're just as much wrapped up in the "running away from any thought or mention" of death game as anyone else. And let's be honest, nobody really LIKES to think about their mortality. At best it's the starting-line of the ultimate adventure, at worst it's the end of, well, everything. In sum, it's the biggest uncertainty in all of life...and if there's one thing we as humans hate -even more than Justin Bieber- it's uncertainty. (Though the Biebs might be a close second....)

Also, we're not trained for this stuff. At least, not usually.

Most credentialed ministers across the world have had some pretty rigorous education. As I teach at a seminary, I actually have the angst-y e-mails from students to prove this. We're trained in public speaking, philosophy, history, theology, and even basic pastoral care and counselling. What we're NOT trained in -usually- is a healthy and appropriate way to deal with, understand, and explain death. It's something of a disservice to both us and those we minister to. Don't get me wrong, a number of seminaries offer courses on death and dying, but I've yet to see one which requires it as part of their programs.

So yeah, we usually hit our first parish and get slapped with a death -or 5...or 10- in our first six months. Annnnd if we're lucky, we'll awkwardly plod through our book of worship or perform a disjointed service as we try not to think about the corpse a few feet from us, how that makes us feel, and what in the hell we're supposed to say to the sobbing widow(er) in the front row.

In other words: please forgive us as we forgive you. (Unless we're real idiots about something....than feel free to smack us. Trust me, we deserve it and we can take it.)

But it's more than just training.....Christianity has a real theological problem with death. We are a faith predicated upon life and the living; to the point that our founder rises from the dead. It's kinda' hard to be more anti-death than that. The problem is that none of us, that I know of, are Jesus and we won't be rising three days after our death. So, death is again, inevitable, but something of an awkward party guest whom we'd rather not socialise with.  (Unless there's a zombie apocalypse....but then we're all screwed....)

Therefore, as Lent is to be a learning journey -and I need SOMETHING other than my doctoral dissertation to write upon- I'm going to be spending the next few weeks trying to construct a brief theology of death. How might we view death? How should we interact with death? How should we talk about death?

In the words of the Crypt-keeper: "Won't you join me, kiddies? We'll have a gruesome time!" ;)

(And I promise not to use horrible puns like that......too much.....)