Anyways...
As I consider Lent to be a time of change, reflection, growth and learning, I've decided to bring up a topic which most of Christianity -and the wider Western world- really needs to give some thought to: death.
Yeah, I really did just type that.
Yes, I am totally serious.
Let's be honest, death is a topic which is a hot-mess in the Western world. Death is something we never talk about -at least until we have to! Conversing with and about death is something which is awkwardly avoided like that great-uncle with the bad toupee and the foul breath. We run in the opposite direction of death whenever we can and however we can.
But let's just cut to the core: death scares the s*** out of us. (Sometimes literally, as my friends in the death-care industry tell me.)
It's ironic, really, as death is one of those things which we KNOW for sure and for certain that we are going to experience. You'd think we'd be a bit better versed and/or prepared to handle death when it comes knocking. Sometimes, we are. Occasionally someone has been clear, concise, and upfront about what they'd like to happen to them should they die. They might even have a family which has a great social and emotional support system to aid them through their time of loss. Butttttt....it's probably more likely that Hilary Clinton will spend her final years as a swimsuit model. (Not out of the realm of possibility, but highly unlikely, ya' know?)
I can't speak for the wider-world of Western civilisation, but I can pretty thoroughly say that Christianity has more than a bit of a problematic relationship with death.
Think about it: how many horrible things have you heard said at a funeral? People of faith might mean well and might be exceptionally loving and caring persons -or not- but there's nothing like a funeral/death to bring about a wave of cringe-inducing bad theology. Like, really, really bad theology....
"God just wanted them home with him." -Oh, so God's some kind of needy jerk who needs my loved ones more than me?
"This was God's plan...." - I won't necessarily argue with this one, as I haven't seen God's play-book, but I will say that unless you've seen that book yourself, you should probably -no, definitely- not be saying this.
"They're out of pain now...." - Yeah, we all know that, but the rest of us are in life-changing pain, so again, why don't you shut it? Mmm'kay?
It's not just the world of laity which gets this type of blame laid at its feet. Ministers, of all shapes and sizes, are also just as tin-eared with death-care. Actually, we're probably the source of laity saying such horrible and inept things. Strike that "probably," I can't deny it, we are the source. <sigh>
Part of this isn't our fault, really. We're just as much wrapped up in the "running away from any thought or mention" of death game as anyone else. And let's be honest, nobody really LIKES to think about their mortality. At best it's the starting-line of the ultimate adventure, at worst it's the end of, well, everything. In sum, it's the biggest uncertainty in all of life...and if there's one thing we as humans hate -even more than Justin Bieber- it's uncertainty. (Though the Biebs might be a close second....)
Also, we're not trained for this stuff. At least, not usually.
Most credentialed ministers across the world have had some pretty rigorous education. As I teach at a seminary, I actually have the angst-y e-mails from students to prove this. We're trained in public speaking, philosophy, history, theology, and even basic pastoral care and counselling. What we're NOT trained in -usually- is a healthy and appropriate way to deal with, understand, and explain death. It's something of a disservice to both us and those we minister to. Don't get me wrong, a number of seminaries offer courses on death and dying, but I've yet to see one which requires it as part of their programs.
So yeah, we usually hit our first parish and get slapped with a death -or 5...or 10- in our first six months. Annnnd if we're lucky, we'll awkwardly plod through our book of worship or perform a disjointed service as we try not to think about the corpse a few feet from us, how that makes us feel, and what in the hell we're supposed to say to the sobbing widow(er) in the front row.
In other words: please forgive us as we forgive you. (Unless we're real idiots about something....than feel free to smack us. Trust me, we deserve it and we can take it.)
But it's more than just training.....Christianity has a real theological problem with death. We are a faith predicated upon life and the living; to the point that our founder rises from the dead. It's kinda' hard to be more anti-death than that. The problem is that none of us, that I know of, are Jesus and we won't be rising three days after our death. So, death is again, inevitable, but something of an awkward party guest whom we'd rather not socialise with. (Unless there's a zombie apocalypse....but then we're all screwed....)
Therefore, as Lent is to be a learning journey -and I need SOMETHING other than my doctoral dissertation to write upon- I'm going to be spending the next few weeks trying to construct a brief theology of death. How might we view death? How should we interact with death? How should we talk about death?
In the words of the Crypt-keeper: "Won't you join me, kiddies? We'll have a gruesome time!" ;)
(And I promise not to use horrible puns like that......too much.....)
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